Monday, October 19, 2009

Insecurities.. even great people have them! (like me. HEHE)

Sometimes, I wonder why we (the people) have to exist on earth?
What is the meaning of life? Why were we made to experience hurt, anger, pain, sadness, disappointments. Whatever actions that we make, will earth be any different because of it? We are just but termites on the face of earth.

(Pic: taken from bird's eye view, and the white dots are really people looking for fish *in my opinion*)

Sometimes even though we try so hard, we still don't achieve what we work so hard for; which frustrates me to no end. Why is there a need for a universe?

That's why I've thought of ending my life when life I thought was unbearable. Yet, when the thought occurs there's something deep within the petals of the heart pounds furiously at the chest. Insisting and fighting that we must live on! Maybe, our purpose in life is to search for that purpose in life. Maybe, we are put here on earth to polish our rough ends before we reunite with our maker? Just maybe, I could make a difference to the world? Or maybe, we are God's idea of a joke? Then hell, I'll make sure its a God Darn Good Joke!

Now, I'm at the very brink of adulthood. My mama bird is practically pushing and shoving me from the nest pecking and yapping all the way.

(pic: I did not photoshop it *because I dunno how or I'd make my toes better looking*)

There will be many fork roads from thereon, will I be able to choose the best of either roads? Or will I just be stuck at the fork road, forever pondering which road is the better choice? So many questions, so many doubts, so many fears. Yet I think just maybe, just maybe I can make it.. because I have my friends and family who some are crazy enough to follow / guide me..

(pic: jumping in to the water near kelantan)
So even though I will taste the bitterness of life. I think I'll just be alright after a spoonful of friends and family =)
Thank God for my irritating beloved sisters and bully lovable friends!